First, please tell Mrs. Claus I say hello! Second, I heard you went gluten free! How has that been going? I tired it once but then Starbucks got all new pastries and I had to try them (no regrets).
I haven’t written to you in a while, we should catch up sometime. I figured since it is the holiday season I might as well ask for something (besides world peace, gun control, all the children in the world holding hands and singing in harmony, less think pieces about selfies etc.).
I want to be 30, flirty and fabulous just like Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30. I don’t want to worry about paying rent. I want to be as ambitious and determined and positive as Leslie Knope in Parks and Rec. I want my iPhone to never run out of battery power. I want to be able to eat pastrami sandwiches in the shower. I want Hogwarts to be real. I want to be in Gryffindor.
I want super powers so I can stop horrible things from happening to people. I want a giant apartment where I can read books in a leather chair while wearing those pajamas with feet socks attached. I want another Postal Service album. I want every season to be Mallomars season. I want a watch that goes back in time so I can take more classes in school like Hermione Granger. I want a Spotify subscription because ads are annoying. I want a cup of salted caramel hot chocolate that refills whenever you finish a cup. I want to be able to see the stars at night even though I live in the city. I want more than 140 characters in a tweet.
I want money so I can afford being creative. I want to Apparate. I want someone who will bring be hot wings and build me bookshelves. I want to finish writing projects I never make time for. I want to procrastinate less and create more. I want Amy Poehler to have a twitter account. I want to worry less about the future. If I promise myself I’m going to workout in the morning, I want to follow through. I want to love everyone more. I want roast beef. I want a nap.
Thanks, Santa! I’ll leave out milk and (recipes for) gluten free cookies! (I will not bake that. Even for you.)